Home of the Supreme Oppressor

2003-07-11T12:05:00.000-07:00

It just stopped raining, I hate rainy days, especially now. They give you too much time to think, which isn't always good. I did what I thought I had to the other day, and ended it with my girlfriend. I wasn't happy with her, and it wasn't fair to either of us to go on. It was the right thing to do

It's not until a few days later that you realize how much a part of your life that person was. I still (think) it was the right thing to do, but am I ever going to miss falling asleep with her beside me, and waking up the next morning. I guess it's one of those things that only time can heal (to sound very cliche). I want to go over to her place right now and make everything better, but I won't, and I'm told this feeling will eventually go away. I spent the afternoon looking at old pictures, and thinking about all the ones she complained I should have taken but didn't. Water under the bridge I guess. Which reminds me, it's raining again.

2003-04-17T11:59:00.000-07:00

You know what the great thing about living/working in Calgary is? It's the culture that is unlike anywhere else in the world. I walked to work this morning in a suit and a cowboy hat, nobody looked twice. It's not that everyone does it, but the rancher mentality is so ingrained into Calgary natives, and expected by newcomers, that it doesn't surprise them. On a side not, my director told me that I wear the hat pretty damn well. Props goes out to my boy Todd at the Lammles.

2003-04-16T14:00:00.000-07:00

Here is a much better Giraffe joke.

A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe and they each order a couple of pints. After a few beer the giraffe passes out at the bar. The man decides to leave, but on his way out the door the bartender yells back to him "You can't leave that lyin' here."
The man yells back, "it's not a lion, it's a giraffe you idiot!"

Now that is a giraffe joke.

2003-04-16T13:54:00.000-07:00

Wow, I was going to make fun of Pixie Sparkle for e-whoring herself out, until I saw her site had more hits in one day then I get in a week. Won't somebody please post me to an important news site? Like CNN, MSNBC, or Naked News? You'd think that the sheer number of teddy ruxpin lovers would have inspired some to visit the home of the Supreme Opressor. I've even got better jokes than her. Like the first post I ever made. Her Giraffe joke wasn't even that funny.

2003-04-15T09:03:00.000-07:00

Apparently I'm now being e-pimped, by some guy I don't even know. But he's the friend of a friend, so he's alright in my books.

2003-04-15T06:50:00.000-07:00

Ok, I woke up to three of the greatest news items of the year on the radio this morning. First Knight Rider is making a feature movie. They don't know who's going to star in it, but they say it won't be the geriatric David Hasselhoff again. Second, the weather this weekend is supposed to be deadly. Mid to high-teens and sunny, perfect for barbquing. Third, and perhaps most important, mini-skirts are supposed to be the fashion of the summer, and I mean really mini, mini skirts. Think Christina.

2003-04-14T09:06:00.000-07:00

So the world is starting to get back to normal. The greatest golfer in the world is once again white, and the greatest rapper is (arguably) black, even if "50 Cent" works for Shady's label. I still think it's funny that the leaders of the "free" world are named Bush, Dick, and Colon. I bet they have some wild parties after hours at the white house.

2003-04-14T09:02:00.000-07:00

OK, so am I the only one that has a friend this great? Everybody needs one. God bless her, she talks me through the smallest of problems and puts up with a hell of a lot of shit from me. I sometimes wonder if visitors ever get sick of links to her blog, or my constant references to her, but then I realize that it doesn't really matter, she's a damned interesting person, and people should want to hear about her.

2003-04-10T13:15:00.000-07:00

I've seen some pretty weird websites in my day but this one takes the cake. Apparently this woman wants to know if people think she'd look better with an...augmentation. And she wants us to pay for it. Problem is she's not that good looking now, so instead of being ugly with a small chest, she'll be ugly with a bigger chest, because she's actually getting donations. With that in mind I think that people should donate money to me. I don't really need it, but I'd be willing to accept it and I might even give your blogs a shout out. I promise to use the money to do something fun.

2003-04-10T12:58:00.000-07:00

Right on, I got my very first out-of-country visitor (to my knowledge anyway). What a rush. Thanks whoever you are from the States and Iran

2003-04-10T12:43:00.000-07:00

Pixiesparkle is so great. I don't know what I would do without her - Truly, she is web savvy.

2003-04-10T11:22:00.000-07:00

Here's an interesting quote for any visiting bloggers.
"You're not old unless you remember the Maple Leafs winning the Stanley Cup...or until you're forty."
-Nelson Mandela

2003-04-10T10:56:00.000-07:00

Apparently I now owe the fair Veela an apology. I was mislead by an...unnamed source into believing that today was her birthday. I'm afraid that you don't share a birthday with Steve Segal, only one of Hollywoods closest friends instead. A Miss Betty Ford. Happy 27th + 2 days Steph.

2003-04-10T10:36:00.000-07:00

Earlier this morning I commited a grevious error in judgement. In my haste to congratulate Veela , I neglected to first express my feelings for Pixiesparkle. Although she may never forgive me, I can only hope that she knows what a wide breadth of emotions thoughts of her cause me to feel. Pixiesparkle, you are my one, my all, my everything. Now go bake me a cake.

2003-04-10T09:28:00.000-07:00

I'd also like to take this opportunity to wish Pixie Sparkles boss a very happy 27th birthday. I've never actually met her, but by all accounts she's still got it. And what's more, she actually shares a birthday with Steven Segal, only about 1 in 365 people can say that. I've always wondered about turning 27, I've never been that old, but I've got a feeling I'll enjoy it. I mean you're not too old to date university co-eds, but you (hopefully) have the freedom of not living with your parent's anymore, I'm lucky and have had that freedom for a few years now.

2003-04-10T08:49:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired of hearing about SARS in the news, because attempts to put it into perspective don't really work for either side. It's not the most devastating thing to happen in modern disease history, nor is it something to be ignored. There was an article in the Globe today about how heart attacks, aids, cancer, etc killed way more people then SARS in the course of a year, so don't worry. Big deal, SARS has been around for what? A few weeks. and it's spreading fast considering its youth. Am I afraid I'm going to come down with it, not really. But then again I don't think I'll get West Nile or any other disease epidemics that come my way. and if by some chance I do get it, it's not going to kill me. It's elderly people and young children that are most likely to die from it. I'm a (relatively) healthy, young guy. I think everybody should just take a (chill) pill.

2003-04-10T07:28:00.000-07:00

Today is by far the nicest of the year here in Calgary, I woke up and felt an irrepressable urge to got onto the back deck for a shmoke and a pancake. Unfortunately, I was late for work (again), and had to settle for a bowl of raisin bran. I hope every one watching the playoffs last night did so with mix emotions. Ottawa and Dallas losing, I want to cry and laugh.

I found a couple interesting hidden messages in movies the other day that I thought I could share.

Scream
When the principal (played by Henry Winkler) looks out of his office and talks to “Fred,” the janitor, look at the janitor’s outfit — red-and-green striped sweater, wide-brimmed hat — and you’ll notice he’s dressed exactly like that famous Craven villain Freddy Krueger.

The X-Files: The Movie
After Mulder gets trashed, he goes into the back alley behind the bar and urinates on a poster for Independence Day, a film that The X-Files creator Chris Carter reportedly hates. Coincidence, no doubt.

Close Encounters of the Third Kind
In the complex details of the alien mothership’s superstructure, careful viewers will spot a familiar android: good ol’ R2D2. Artoo and his pal C3PO also make a cameo in the hieroglyphs in Raiders of the Lost Ark’s Well of Souls, but you’ll need the clearer DVD version to spot them.

2003-04-09T14:05:00.000-07:00

Hmmm, so I guess this is my first posting ever, I should definitely write something both witty and clever. Or I could just tell a joke, yeah, a good, tasteless almost-racist joke.

An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 2000 yen and walked out with $72. The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and was handed $66. He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week.

The teller said, “Fluctuations.”

The Asian man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, “Fluc you Amelicans, too!”